Raging Incompetence Reigns at Verizon

I’ve detailed the insanity of dealing with Verizon here before, but now I seem to be engaged in a full war with them. Their incompetence and inability to handle simple business dealings would be comic if my credit rating wasn’t the victim of their bureaucratic snafus.

I tempted fate by moving from my home in mid April. I asked to have my triple blunder bundle shut off and new service installed at the senior apartment building where I moved. My recently remodeled independent living site was wired by Verizon FiOS and I had no choice. It’s not that Comcast is much better, but it would be nice to fight with a different group for a change.

Frankly, I’m not above boring you with all the details of how Verizon screwed this transfer up, it’s simply that so very many mistakes were involved that I can’t even remember them all. I didn’t foresee that I’d need to keep a running log of the 12 to 15 rude encounters, erroneous bills and technical errors over the last three months.

I moved into this building because I’m handicapped and getting the old equipment back to Verizon was one of the major obstacles. The cheerful sales guy who signed me up for the new service assured me that I should just take my two large set top boxes, router, and remotes with me so Verizon could send me a handy box that I could drop of at UPS, FedEx or whoever they deal with. I wouldn’t even be able to lift said box, much less transport it down the long, long hallways of my new building balanced on top of my walker, nor could I get to a drop off location without a car. Because I moved some distance from my family, getting someone else to take it for me wouldn’t be easy either. Why couldn’t the Verizon person coming to do the installation take it? Too simple? Too easy for the customer?

After a few back and forth calls to the company, it was agreed that the installer would take the stuff. The two installers balked when they arrived and assured me that would never work. They shook their heads and warned me that I’d end up getting billed a huge amount for unreturned equipment, but I insisted they take it anyway. They called a supervisor who told them to leave it on his desk and, armed with the supervisor’s number I hoped for the best.

Weeks after the move, a friend called my old number and found it still working; my service wasn’t shut off. I called Verizon and they apologized, promised to shut it off and correct the final bill to the date when I moved. Four bills and about six phone battles later, I have a big bill that’s now been turned over to a collection agency. After a couple of the go-rounds with reps, some credits were applied to the tally, but since more and more new charges also were heaped on week after week, it’s all wrong. And of course, at the bottom is a note “please return your old equipment.”

Each person I spoke with apologized and assured me everything was taken care of at last, and most even gave me some type of transaction number for verification, but nothing stopped the billing errors. One guy even gave me three free months of HBO and Cinemax as a gesture of apology. I figure I should owe about $60 for two weeks service.

On my last call, Verizon refused to discuss it with me because it’s now with a collection agency. I called the agency and a person I could barely understand told me to send them the details and they’d discuss it with Verizon if I wanted to dispute it.

I wonder if it’s possible to sue a company for making your blood pressure soar? Stress induced medical suffering? I’d sure like to try.

When Fictional Characters Don’t Win Our Hearts

I’ve been reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen for about a week now and I really don’t care what happens to Patty, Walter and Richard. I intend to finish the book, but when I pick it up I feel the way I used to feel when certain tiresome coworkers approached my desk. I’d groan, put on a false smile and get set to wish someone better would come along.

Make no mistake, I think Franzen is a fabulously talented writer, and the rest of the world figured that out long before I added my all-important approval. His descriptive prose behaves like an Olympic figure skater; it swoops, glides, and does double axels rapidly. His dialog nails authenticity. He manages to vary techniques and voices effortlessly. I’d give my FiOS connection to be able to write the way he does. He doesn’t, however, succeed in making me care about the people he crafts so well.

What makes the reader care about fictional characters? Certainly fictional characters don’t have to be good people or nice people. The first example that comes to my mind is from a screenplay rather than a novel, but consider Tony Soprano. Tony murdered so many folks that I lost count. He was a horrid misogynist, a sneak, a racist, a unfaithful cheater, a manipulative narcissist and even tried to smother his mother with a pillow, but, gee, I liked the guy. I really cared about his fate and hoped unceasingly that his life would work out well. I was upset for days when he died before he got to finish his onion rings.

Patty, Walter and Richard on the other hand won’t be invited to my next cook-out. Patty needs to get over her parental disinterest issues and stop being a waste of space. I simply don’t see what’s so fascinating, sexy or cool about Richard. Poor Walter is perhaps the best of the lot, but can fade into the wallpaper without me noticing. I’m at the point in the book where Walter’s assistant is introduced and I briefly swelled with hope that she’d prove to be an interesting character with whom I could connect, because I am sure sick of hanging around listening to the others.

Yes, I could stop complaining and put the book away, but Everyone has read it, and, so, I must read it. Currently, it’s a frontrunner for the Pulitzer Prize, and I don’t want to be a dodo who fails to read The Great Books. Last year I failed with The Girl Who Played With Fire when a debilitating cloud of Scandinavian ennui forced me to give my copy to Goodwill after 200 pages. I might be slipping into trouble here, so I must persist.

Believing what you read on the Internet

Here’s a shocker: everything you read on the Internet isn’t necessarily correct (GASP!) Yep, sorry to disillusion you trusting folks, but some of the expert advice is simply inane ramblings of illiterate fools.

I’m prompted to complain about this after a recent Bing search for some plant information. I’ve been writing articles on Associatedcontent.com for more than two years, and recently I started doing articles on The Examiner. On AC I write about a variety of subjects which interest me, mainly gardening, medical matters, and gemstones. My Examiner writings are all about gardening, in which I have some expertise and a couple decades of experience and training.

Being old-school, I try very hard to provide clear and truthful information, backed up with reputable annotations and attributions. There are lots of reasons why this is the best policy, but, mainly, it’s simply the right thing to do. I can’t claim to be infallible, but to me, giving honest advice and reliable facts are essential.

I participate in several writer’s forums and have become familiar with other people who write for these websites and several others. Many of these writers believe in the same standards and produce some great and worthy stuff.

Unfortunately, while wandering around AC, I’ve been subjected to some of the worst, most egregious crap imaginable. I’ve found articles rife with misspellings, grammar mistakes and flat out bull, rambling statements of “facts” and advice that are totally wrong.  I’m not being a stickler for grammar here, because, truth be known, I feel secretly insecure about my own knowledge of grammar and rethink what I write all the time. No, I’m talking about writing that’s almost illegible and unreadable. Stuff that looks like it was composed by a nine year old non-native English speaker struggling to translate from some obscure dialect. Possibly it was, because AC is somewhat notorious for erratic standards for the articles which are reviewed by content managers, and also allows unmonitored self-posting after three reviewed articles are published.

AC isn’t alone in spewing this type of terrible content into cyberspace. Lots of the writers I know write for a legion of other sites like eHow, Helium, Squidoo and others, which have various standards of oversight. These places offer teeny payments based on a variety of metrics and work-at-home freelance writers typically dabble a little here, a little there to make do.

There are two sides to this story. If sites like AC didn’t exist, I’d be unable to work. Like many other aspiring writers with physical disabilities, childcare concerns, or other personal difficult situations brought on by the economy, a chance to earn just a little dribble of income and satisfy our creative urges is most welcome. There’s even a grandiose component of power to the people involved here. Almost anyone can be heard. The trouble is, I’m snooty enough to think that what some people have to say isn’t worth being heard.

After just a few weeks experience with The Examiner, I’ve learned that their standards and training attempts are a cut above the other sites. Here writers are free to publish spontaneously, but there’s much more encouragement to elevate the level of work, and definite rules about correct attribution. And they carefully screen applicants and require writing samples before approval.

Blogs are even more free-wheeling, but readers generally come to blogs aware of their nature. At a site like Associatedcontent.com or Squidoo, the reader might think they’re being served expert opinion, or might not even question the source.

Which brings me back to my Bing search. The top 10 results I got were all sites of this amateurish nature, written by non-credentialed, unsupervised, self-styled experts. I kept searching until I found something originating from a university horticulture department, which is what I consider a trustworthy source, but how many searchers go that deep?

Anyone with half a brain knows there’s a difference between referring to a site with a name like miracle_ acai_cure and a reputable site like webmd.com for medical advice. Are people as discerning when seeking tips for growing petunias? Probably not so much with less critical matters, but why look for information if you intend to settle for useless drivel?

Cleaning up Pittsburgh

We’re all a bit stunned by the selection of Pittsburgh as the site of the G20. It’s sort of how I might feel if George Clooney called me for a date. (George, if you read this, I’m free Friday.)

Without a thought to the pros and cons of the political issues surrounding the G20, or the inevitable protests, I believe we all agree that Pittsburgh will need to look its best before the unparalleled world attention. Our local politicians are scurrying to deal with security, police response to protests, logistics and all that stuff, but my reaction is more aligned with that of any typical woman who gets a call that company is on the way. OMG, dust the cat hair off the coffee table!

Pittsburgh has extraordinary virtues. Most of the country thinks of us as backwater and rust belt, a place with no fun to offer, second only to Cleveland in undesirability. Well, they’re wrong. Those of us who live here know that, and that’s why we are so emotionally attached to the town. Pittsburgh will finally be revealed as a wonderful, relatively safe, green and affordable place; America’s most livable city as Rand McNally told you all twice.

But there is one problem: it is probably America’s filthiest city. We’re pigs for some reason. We throw trash everywhere. The roads and sidewalks are disgusting. Stop at a red light and you see clots of McDonald’s debris, beer cans, plastic bags, on and on, no end. It’s depressing in the slushy winter grayness and it stinks in the oppressive heat and humidity of summer. The business district in Squirrel Hill, one of our more upscale urban neighborhoods, reeks like garbage on a summer evening. There are spots on the sidewalk concrete that are crusted with grease from restaurant garbage.

Much of Pittsburgh’s ethnic heritage persists generations after our immigrants were assimilated. At risk of resorting to stereotypes, I can still picture the little Polish grannies on the Southside sweeping their stoops, and the Italians in Bloomfield carefully tending tiny yards. The general home maintenance here is about the same as in other cities. Most homeowners seem to do the best they can to paint and repair, plant flower beds and spiff up their exteriors. Why then do they throw their pizza boxes over the hillside while at the red light? I suspect it’s not homeowners, but younger people who do this, again risking stereotype. Hello, Pittsburghers, it’s not okay to toss the kid’s dirty diaper out the car window in the Kmart parking lot.

Before the All-Star game in 2006, our mayor organized a huge “Redd Up Pittsburgh” campaign, knowing we had to do something or risk national embarrassment. For non-natives, let me explain that “redd up” is Pittsburghese for “clean up”, as in “Geez, yinz better redd up before the Stiller party.”

Yes, Pittsburgh, the leaders of the free world are about to be pulling into the driveway. Get the dirty dishes out of the sink, pick up the socks off of the floor, and shoo the cat off the top of the microwave. And put that dirty diaper in the garbage can.

Tips on What to Eat when You’re Broke and Hungry

If you are new to the world of living without, here are some ways to deal with an empty refrigerator.

See more at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1674545/tips_on_what_to_eat_when_youre_broke.html

Guide to Buying Dandelion Seeds

You are probably thinking, “Why would anyone BUY dandelion seeds?”

Most folks with any spots of earth around their homes exert efforts to rid themselves of dandelions. Avid lawn lovers frantically labor to eradicate dandelions. Buying seeds sounds like purchasing used cat litter or shopping for live flu virus.

Dandelions have a long history as a culinary and medicinal plant, and, surprise,  the seeds are increasingly in demand.

See more at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1653577/guide_to_buying_dandelion_seeds.html

Three Officers Killed in Pittsburgh Shooting

Three Pittsburgh police officers were killed and two wounded by a gunman barricaded in his home.

See more at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1623508/three_officers_killed_in_pittsburgh.html

Summersweet (Clethra Alnifolia): A Choice Fragrant Shrub for Your Garden

Clethra is an adaptable native shrub offering wonderfully fragrant blooms in midsummer.

See more at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1593978/summersweet_clethra_alnifolia_a_choice.html

How to Get Rid of Scale Insects on Indoor Plants Organically

Scale insects on indoor plants present a tricky problem and home remedy recommendations have changed.

See more at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1494410/how_to_get_rid_of_scale_insects_on.html

Pittsburgh’s Goin’ to the Superbowl, ta-da!

Blogging, or for that matter doing anything on the Internet, while using a pen name is a good idea. If I were to use my real name and then openly admit that the Pittsburgh Steelers weren’t the most important thing in my life, admit that I love my family, God, country and Lost more than the Steelers, I would be tracked down and my home firebombed.  That’s the beauty of living in Pittsburgh.

I’m not anti-Steelers. I’m glad they won yesterday. I was really happy when they won the Superbowl two years ago, and I even went out on my porch in the freezing cold and screamed along with all my neighbors who were banging pots and detonating fireworks. Steeler victories are good for the local economy, good for the morale of the fans, and helpful to the image of the city. I draw the line at the insanely obsessive mind-set of some Pittsburghers.

A few weeks ago, when guys from another team stomped on the Terrible Towel, the local news media made it the major story of the week, and one dolt-on-the-street who was interviewed said he felt like “it was as if they did it to the Baby Jesus.”  I wanted to slap him with a steel pierogi. C’mon! I don’t normally get too riled up about religion, my philosophy is to each his own, but, this guy crossed the line. Obviously he’s a self-proclaimed Christian or he wouldn’t have mentioned Jesus, and if he can’t distinguish between his chosen Lord and Savior, and a scrap of yellow terrycloth, well…

Anyway, before I incur the wrath of the entire Steeler Nation for implying that the Steelers aren’t equal to God, I’ll lead you to an article on Associatedcontent.com that I wrote with a prediction about this year’s Superbowl. I’m not skilled in astrology, but Mercury retrograde is a phenomenon familiar to amateurs and it’s going to screw up this big game. Take a look at my prediction.